I had a physical a few weeeks ago. My doctor said I appeared sad. A little, I said. She said, no wonder. You stopped drinking and smoking back in October because of your heart problem. You went on a diet and lost 30 pounds. You watch what you eat since. And you were just divorced so you are without sex.

You have no crutches in life! They are all gone!

She was right!

I decided to do something about it. The question was what?

Drinking and smoking were no good for the heart. Could very well lead to my death.

Sex is not that easily obtainable. Especially at 75. Nor easily doable.

The only viable alternative was food!

So I have been on an eating jag!

Absolutely teriffic! Has done wonders for my state of mind. I feel good!

But not without a penalty. Everything good is ok in moderation. To overdue bad. I have been bad. About 15 pounds worth and a bit of a gut!

It has to stop. I have to return to sad. Today is the day. Healthy eating begins again!

As an example of how bad I have been eating, yesterday I had lunch at Hogfish. Not fish. Liver and onions fried in oil. Delicious! Should have added a few extra exclamation points! That good!

For dinner, Chinese. All that salt or whaever it is! And I did it all! Egg drop soup, egg foo yong, pork fried rice, egg roll and ice cream. Plus a fortune cookie, of course.

It was the fortune cookie that put me over the top! Ho ho!

Some one commented yesterday to my blog regarding eggs benedict on Sunday. Accused me of not eating healthy. The commentator was absolutely correct! I have been on a binge. It has been fun. I enjoyed every morsel!

But today I stop. I hope.

I will be sad. But I will live longer.

That is, unless I get hit by a car. Then the dieting and deprivation will have been for naught.

I am reminded of a big fat comedian of yesteryear. His name escapes me.

He was on the Johnny Carson Show. He had just returned from a one month stay at Duke University. Duke had a rice program in those days that did wonders for the obese. He sufered through it for a whole month.

On the plane back to New York, he opted to eat. They fed you in those days. He ate everything. And because he was a celebrity, they gave him more. And he knocked down a couple of drinks.

When the food on the plane first came around, he thought for a moment. He should not indulge. Then it occurred to him. The plane could go down. He might die. Then what difference would his not eating have made!

So he ate!

I hope my mind does not work that way.

Enjoy your day!

14 comments on “

  1. A big, fat comedian on the Larry King show was asked what he had for lunch. He said, a salad. "What kind of salad? "Central Park."
    Then he was asked what he didn't like. "Hoofs; they're too hard to chew." He also didn't like beaks because they tear up his cheeks and tongue.

  2. The Galley Grill on Summerland Key has the best eggs benedict you'll ever want to eat. They even have a variation with crab cakes. HEAVEN.

  3. You are not the only one living through divorce, diet, lack of sex etc. You sound depressed. How about consulting someone in the mental health field?

  4. Can't find sex in KW ??!! You sure can't be trying very hard !! Food can be a substitute, but, personally, I prefer both.. It keeps one fat and happy !
    Patrick and JoAnn

  5. Lou,

    There is another option. You can continue to eat the things you love (with a little more moderation in portions perhaps), which will maintain your pleasure levels.
    But also, commit to exercising EVERYDAY. Just park at Southernmost near your coffee house and walk to Pier House and back before you enjoy your paper and coffee.

  6. Keep overeating at your advanced age and you will soon be the next caretaker at the cemetary – got you gate key ready? Enjoy the iguanas who currently are digging into so many graves. Doesn't that sound yummy?!

  7. Why live longer if you can't live happily? Indulge in moderation… (that's me telling myself, I'm sure at your age, you already know this! LOL) Thanks for reminding me that it is very important to keep health in the foreground! Now have another fortune cookie and hope for the best! Love you!
    Kris from the Sports Page

  8. Hello Louis, Keep a smile on your nice face. Eat play and enjoy your life. You are loved by many.
    I better get down to run with you.
    Bob Marks

  9. Fat and happy?

    Will get you what?

    No women – who wants a fat old fart? Unless he has deep pockets and money to spend.

    Happy? sure – doctors love ya and so does your health insurance. Can you say heart attack? Perhaps stroke? Or incapacitated due to some health emergency? Oh that's how I want to spend my golden years for sure!

    Fat and happy will get you dead and buried. And if you're lucky, relatives waiting like vultures over prey for the reading of your last will and estate.

    So go ahead…if you dare!

  10. Egg drop soup? Did you have a fight with your stomach? And all the msg? Topped off with ice cream? Did I miss the memo or is it salute to clogged arteries week? Perhaps it is national sodium intake day with prizes given to the oldest fool consuming 10 times their daily recommended amount? Did you bet with some loon that your blood pressure was higher than the boiling point for water? Or is this your idea if a good time–making your heart bypass surgeon happy with his new ICU patient? When is the viewing for the deceased? It can't be long now. How utterly piggish and truly insane — have some respect for the old ticker dear boy!?!?!?

  11. Who cares about this old man being fat, he is too old to reduce his protuberant abdomen( BELLY)sorry too late. Pretentious! Everyone wants to be a writer in key west! even if you just talk and write about stupidity!

  12. You can find free sex with all the desperate women in key west ( the fat , or the skinny and very old ones with drinking and drugs problems)these are in abundance here are all free!, if you want a pretty,young and exotic one, then the story changes! Good luck be a little more giving and generous you will see your luck changes! Good luck !

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